*sigh* It's been one heck of a week my friends, for sure! Last weekend I was on top of the world, flying high on life, and then well Monday (you guys read it) I was ready to crawl into a pit and just die a slow miserable death...what? that's not healthy?
Now I am back to feeling better, I still have reservations on some of life's moves, but for the most part my heart is at peace. What changed?
Well well well, I am so glad you asked. :) I decided I was gonna go big or go home (as is a common phrase in my household) I decided to give it my all and leave the results to God, and I must admit....He is taking things down a path I never would have ventured on my own, but it's most certainly interesting.
I made it a point to make contact with the new woman in my daughter's life...*GASP* i know what you're thinking and quite frankly I believe you're wrong. I didn't do it out of malice or even to try and stay involved like a wedge in the ex's life...nope i did it for my daughter...really. I figured that if this woman who is going to be part of my daughter's life I should try and make an alliance with her? A GENUINE ONE, not one of those smile to your face and grit your teeth while chewing off your tongue kinda things, NO, I wanted to go big or I was going home. I want a genuine cooperative relationship with this woman....call me crazy.
So i went about it the non-intrusive way...i emailed her (after I found her on facebook) ----- let's pause here for a quick break in thought... Facebook has become quite the little resource for people, i mean come on, I didnt even know this girl's lastname, and I found her. It was just a matter of cross checking some friends that my ex and i share and going from there. Pretty simple even, and I could email her without having to friend request her, so it worked for me---- Anyhow I was just totally brutally honest with her, and she responded with respect and genuine compassion. I must say i am kinda diggin her! Now, however, I bet (since I know my ex pretty good) that he is not exactly comfortable with it, so I bet, that even though I have given her no reason to not like me (cause let's face it I AM pretty likeable) she has reservations about whether or not to trust me, or worse yet, like me. I am good with it, though.
I am just going to keep our communication open between the two of us, and hopefully we can establish something that resembles a cooperative parenting relationship...again call me crazy, but i call it a bit of optimism. I should also add that since I have communicated with her a handful of times already, my heart is totally at peace with her our daughter's life. She is going to be someone who will make sure our little girl has braids in her hair for school, has holiday decorations in her home, can have someone to consult with on her attire for the day, and hey, maybe even paint her tootsies. I would have to say that I know this woman will never take my place as Mom, she's going to make one heck of a impact on our daughter, as far as being a woman in her life, goes. And maybe someday when our daughter calls her mom too, I can call her a friend...sounds all gushy doesn't it? Yep, sure does, and I am glad that's the course I am on, instead of the feeling sorry for myself , crawl into hole, path I was on earlier this week. God is good, my friends, God is good! Until next time.........
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