What is it with some parents and their total lack of knowledge of what do when it comes to...PARENTING?
I mean. I am not claiming to know much about the subject myself, but I have to say that I feel like I have an ok handle on it...and while I know that I have not alot to gauge my self-proclaimed success on the subject, I feel like I am at least headed in the right direction.
I am basing this particular "rant" on my personal observations of other parents and their children. Now I understand that God blessed me with 2 daughters that are pretty amazing, and I also understand that even despite my inadequacies as a mom sometimes, my girls should turn out fine without too much therapy as adults :)
But as I have seen my teenage daughter grow, I have stood back and observed her friends and their parents...and I am now going to do a comparison, because frankly, thats what Moms do
I am one of those Moms who is usually pretty l laid back...if you adhere to my rules...I only have a few
1) no dating or boyfriends until you're 16 (yes I have to have both because my daughter will find a loophole, "well we aren't boyfriend/girlfriend or... It's not a date" so I am specific enough
2) I have TOTAL access to your social network accounts (i.e. FaceBook) I can log in at any time and check your stuff!!!
3) I have total access to your text messages (and deleting ANY will result in forfeiture of the phone)
4) your grades need to stay above C- (infractions will result in forfeitires of electronic priviledges in the least)
5) minor infractions (such as sassing back or giving me attitude ) will result in x amount of push-ups (she REALLY needs to work on upper body strength for hockey)
So far i would have to say that she has been pretty good about following our guidelines...
I think it helps that I am aware of who her friends are and what they are up to also...I am very involved in our community and so I hear almost everything that happpens at the middle school level....
lets stop here for a monent, while i shed some light on the parents who havent a clue of what is going on with our middle schoolers...
Our 6, 7, and 8th graders ARE HAVEING SEX AND USING DRUGS!!! This is a fact! Based on my own observations I can tell you who is sleeping with whom, and who just smoked pot during studyhall...some parents my think we have some time to talk to our kids about such topics, but truth is...we dont! our 12, 13, 14 year olds are already exposed to it!
I have told my daughter MANY times that I am totally good with being the "uncool" parent...I am going to be the PARENT..not her FRIEND. I am looking at the big picture, and while I may sound calloused at the time, I don't truly care if she is popular or not...I am doing my job....my job is to make sure she doesn't end up pregnant before she's done with college, and that she doesn't get a job as an exotic dancer, and that she has a rock solid foundation to raise her own family someday. She needs to have discernment to select a husband who will love her GENUINELY and not superficially.... if she doesn't achieve these things, then I will have failed as her PARENT
Anyhow, Back to the comparisons...as parents I think that we don't REALLY start to notice all of the differences until the kids are teenagers...then the differences come out in full force.
Most moms in this area know what my expectations of my daughters are and so if they are stepping out of line, I find out. However, there are some moms who are trying to live vicariously through their children so most rules are off, and to these mothers i am too hard on my daughters. THIS hinders my parenting slightly, since my daughter sees that her friend is getting away with WAY more than a teenager should ( in my opinion) and immediately thinks its "unfair" I can try and explain to her ALL day long that the world isn't about FAIR, but it's really a waste of my time, since she stops listening as soon as her sentence breaches her lips..... *sigh*
There is this one mother that TRULY i believe has NO CLUE...her daughter is the same age as my oldest, and they are in a handful of after school events together...so I see more than average .... I see how this girl behaves in the locker room, i see how other girls are treated by this girl, and I HEAR how this girl talks (she reminds me of that movie Mean Girls..and she's the ring leader)... but that's not all....
Her mother has 2 boys (in their early 20s) around this girl ALL OF THE TIME........really?!? That's the most mental thing I have ever heard! And they stay at this girl's house no less........i can tell you right now that not only would i NOT be encouraging a 20 something to be around my daughter I most certainly WOULD NOT allow that same boy to sleep under my roof GOOD GOD! I am amazed at how ridiculous some parents can be......this mothers lack of responsibility is making me crazy!
I know that this is just some crazy rant I have today and it may not even make any sense to you, and I may even be slightly biased about this mom since I think she's not very bright to begin with...however I HAD to get it out, It was making me nuts! I guess we shall see as time moves forward if my rantings have any substance to them.....i mean, we have ALL of high school yet.... *sigh*
That's all i have for now, until next time........
