Nope, I didn't have my V8........

Well its Wednesday, which is a pretty awesome day...normally. Today when I was hanging out with the Pygmy tribe, I felt like I was a little "off". You know like those commercials that advertised the V8.....walking a little crooked, just a little "off" I just couldn't shake it.....

i thought for most of the day about why this might be, and I have come to conclude that although, i like to try and leave my feeling safely guarded in a jar at home beside my bed, today I forgot to place them there....so here i was pretty much wearing them on my sleeve......

I, first of all, should point out that my best friend in the entire universe is out of town, on vacation to sin city, since last Saturday......sigh! So, that almost feels like my arm is missing or something. So picture it, I am hanging with pygmies, and have only one arm, feeling a little "off".....

I went to an appointment and was informed that a pygmies parents are getting a divorce, not really news, but still I was shocked! Mostly because there are 3 children in this marriage and the mother wants NOTHING to do with them...ages 16 down to 4.....so here this dad is trying to figure out what to do, and to make matters worse for this man, his wonderfully financially irresponsible wife left behind sooooooo much debt that he has to work overtime...here's the frosting on the cake, since we live in the wonderful state of WI where EVERYTHING is 50/50 the assets and the DEBT should be split right? NOPE, He inherits all the debt and she will ask for nothing! not the house or the kids or her part in the business, etc. This poor guy, my heart kinda sunk for him, he really is a nice guy, like really....so I am trying to see what it is I can or the resources I am able to tap into, can help him along the way.....

I also had a meeting with my employees and told them that I had decided to cut on of our programs....our summer one.....which was a bit emotional, not like sobbing and crying, no no no not at all, that may have been more enjoyable for me, nope this was irrate, ticked off, why didn't we get a say in it kinda thing.......I am not even cutting their hours, I was actually going to need to hire other people, who weren't selected yet. In the end I was left kinda ticked off but mostly sad, because we reach SOOOOOO many kids with this summer program, but I need to focus on ONE thing right now and I already have tooooo many irons in the fire.....

Then, came another call from the ex, which is always so wonderful.....NOT. He is at the newest stage in the this whole process, you know the one I was at like 18 months ago......anyhow he hounding me for reconciliation...which let's face it, just ISN'T an option! But it doesn't help me with the whole feeling of guilt, which I KNOW, is something I really shouldn't be feeling......but hey it is what it is......

So all of these things are pretty minor and can be generally, I think dealt with.....if THAT was the only thing to deal with, but here they are all together....and it seems like a huge weight in on my shoulders, and I am feeling a little "off" to begin with, so let's just hope I don't fall over! I know the old saying goes, God only gives you as much as you can handle, but...come on Dude who do I look like, Superman? Sigh....guess I will just fine tune my "armor" and dig my heels in to STAND FIRM and yep, I will live to fight another day....I am just glad that in a few days I won't have to go to it alone, cause My Best Friend will be back to stand to front lines with me ....and when all else fails, well I can lean on him....he's strong!!!! That's it, until next time........

Laughter is, after all, the BEST medicine

So I, like anyone else, go through my day and witness MANY strange things...or so that's my perception of it. Plus, given the fact that I am detail oriented, I perhaps, pick up on some things more than other people would. This is going to be a rambling of the things that I have "witnessed" over tha past few days.....

First of all I had the opportunity to enjoy my oldest daughter's spring concert....and WOW what a great people watching venue! I saw this one "boy" who was probably like 19 years old, dressed in TIGHT fitting jeans, which were rolled up like Capris, a flannel shirt and loose fitting stocking hat.....he looked, well, how shall we say it....eccentric.

Then there was the enitre 6th grade class....why is when kids are already at that akward stage in their life, they feel it's necessary to dress the way they do and fix their hair that way? I mean really ladies, let's face it, the side part, no bang, hang in your face thing? Who woke up one morning and thought hmmmm, this was a good idea? And what is with the boys having hair swooped off to one side and shaggy to boot? GET A FRICKEN HAIR CUT!!!!!

I was at the local grocery store the next day, and I saw this average looking woman, probably mid 40s a little overweight, walking through the store at 9 o clock in the morning, in her Pj's ...which i am not making fun of, becasue holy cow, I wear mine all of the time, but her hair was snarled, which meant she had not made any attempt to brush it, and she wasn't wearing a bra, and for the record, she should have considered one, but even all of this was NOT the odd part, I noticed that she must have taken the time or given thought to put her jewelery and make up on...this make up was NOT the kind that would be left over from the night before, Lord knows I have seen My fair share of that kind, nope, this was flawless, just put on kind...and her jewelery was not something that any woman would be able to sleep in, just trust me on this....so it made me wonder....why on earth not just take the additional five minutes to finish the job before you some out in public? Just a question.....

Now since i work with a tribe of pygmies, I hear all kinds of interesting things come out of their mouths.....

I had this one pygmie who was on the changing table, and while I was changing his diaper he reached down and pulled on his "boy part" and looked at me and asked, what' s this? I told him it was his boy part...he lifted his head a little to look at it, and said "why hello!" and layed back down....oh man the laughter I had to contain!

There was another pygmie that was following behind me out to the play yard when I heard her say what I thought was a**hole ...not once but three times. I turned around to explain to her that we don't say those type of words, when I realized she was crouched down looking at, and pointing to, an ANT HOLE! *sigh of relief*

I was sitting down in the morning, enjoying some coffee, when the first pygmie came into my class room. She looked at me with excitement, and said, It's gonna be a nice day today!, I asked her why she thought that ( really trying to prompt her to tell me because the sun is shining, or it's warm outside etc.) and she replied," because I watched the weather channel. " Well...of course she did, how silly of me not to know?

I had one pygmie come up to me in the afternoon, amidst the general departure time, and ask "when is my gamma going to be here?" I told him, oh in a little bit, buddy. He looked very excited and replied, "a little bit?, that's my favorite time of the day!"

I notice all kinds of ridiculous details, and hear ALL KINDS of weird kid-isms, I must say, that most of the time God shows his sense of humor through all of the chaos i have in my world, through such things. I guess at the end of the day I should, maybe, try to be less judgmental, and laugh a little more...... :o) well that's it for now, until next time......

Check your baggage......

Today I have persevered through yet another hurdle in the big "D" process. I had to attend a co-parenting class, since I have two children that will also be affected by this transition in my life.....At any rate apparently, being the director of a child care center, does not validate my ability to effectively raise my own children without the help of a bureaucratic class. I guess essentially raising other people's children, daily, does not constitute enough experience...or somethin! Not that I am bitter about it at all.....nope.

Anyhow I had to take this class, and pay another fee, so that's what i did today. Now going into this thing I was so nervous, because I never know what to expect with these mandatory classes the state throws at you. It started with 8 of us sitting in a circle...much like a fricken support group. Each of us had our handouts, which were available on-line, I might add, and the "instructor" went over these handouts. Ok, let me first pause here to tell you what I had observed about this "instructor" First of all she was heavier, but that's ok, purely an observation. Her nails were short and painted, albeit a strange array of color and design, still just an observation. She was wearing Lia Sophia earrings and necklace. She had on all black, but brown socks and shoes...a little weird, but still just an observation. She was older, I would guess mid 50s and was going gray. Now what really struck me was that she wore no wedding ring, which meant she had not currently been married. But after the class progressed she informed us that she had been divorced for a little over 10 years and she had raised two children through this divorce of hers, and had since adopted her grandson, and had another child who was 10 from a previous relationship. It kind of made me wonder what her qualifications for such a class was, but......I figured she was the instructor, so I would just sit and listen.

So we start, we each had to go around the room and introduce ourselves, and Oh heavens! There was only two men in this group, and the other women were complete MAN-HATERS! It was awful the things these women used to justify they're situations......One woman, who didn't want the divorce, actually admitted to falling in love with another man at work and was sad that her husband just couldn't deal with the fact that she loved this other man...I mean she even went further to say that it wasn't like she was ever going to act on those feelings for this man, she just fell in love with him and was being COMPLETELY honest about it, well....then sweetheart, in THAT case why on earth would your husband NOT stay? OH COME ON!!!! Then there was a woman who, I believe, had substantial reason to leave her husband, He abused her physically, verbally, and was a raging alcoholic, who was currently serving jail time for domestic abuse......so I could understand her resentment, I guess. Then there was one woman who, actually told us her ENTIRE life story for crying out loud! She had tried to leave her husband two years ago and he threatened that he was going to kill himself, blah blah blah, and so she took him back hoping that it would be different, but it wasn't, yada yada yada, and so she asked her children what they should do, and naturally, since children wonderful problem solvers, and amazing counselors, when they are 13 and 8 years old, they decided to allow mom to get a divorce. I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

I mean, yeah I know everyone has issues, I get that, but it can't be the other person's fault COMPLETELY! It was supposed to be a team effort? the TWO of you entered into this marriage, and while one may have been at bigger fault or not, it took two of you to exit.....TWO! My situation is NO different....i could have been a better wife, and I failed, I made daily mistakes, some bigger than others. Yes, He did as well, it, I think, its all about how much one person can handle, which stems off what each of your expectations are. If you start off in a marriage with different expectations, there are bound to be problems...and while no relationship is perfect, how you handle these problems will determine your character as a person and the health of your marriage. I have to admit that my marriage was not even close to be what I expected it to be, but we couldn't get a handle on how to cope with the short comings or mistakes from the other individual. So we both played the blame game, and we both did things that we knew would disappoint the other....it was a colossal failure on both of our parts. So we both sat through this class and kept quiet while the others in the group went on about their spouse's ridiculousness. I have to admit, I found myself wondering what on earth he was thinking......I mean I know there were numerous times when I wanted to speak up, but keep to myself. I guess I can see why people have issues with relationships, I mean we just carry our "baggage" and ideas of how wronged we have been around to our next relationship.....It's this crazy cycle! It's amazing we can function at all!

I Do know that, for me, this has been a learning experience, a stepping stone that I hope I can use to better any relationships I have in my future. To start, I guess I can "check all baggage at the door" Now I just have to implement it............until next time.