Ford Pinto and Cadillac

So I know this guy....he is truly my best friend......Well, I have spent a great deal of time with him, obviously, and I have come to notice a few differences between us. Now there are always the VERY obvious ones, you know, male/female, etc. But then there are ones that come out only after you have really spent time with that person. This is one of those differences.....

I, for the first time , was able to hang out with this person and his mother, which was a little....hmmm stressful, because let's just be honest, here, its easy to find someone who is your best friend all alone, but when any family is involved it gets...sticky. And here I was hanging with him and HIS mom, which is like the ultimate sticky....like laffy taffy on a hot July day sticky!, But THAT"S another story......while spending time with the two of them, I was listening to stories of his childhood, and all the while comparing to the stories of my childhood, well mentally anyway.....

His mom and he were talking about the first car he remembered being in with his mom...a Cadillac. Now this car is quite nice and a classic, in fact these cars are still being made, and are amazing cars! While he was reminiscing about the 8 track in the car I was thinking about the first car I remember being in with MY mom....a Ford Pinto! No joke, true story!

Ok the Pinto is a FAR cry from the Caddy, and was such a tragedy for Ford that they discontinued it, but not before my father purchased two more just like the first one we owned, on account that they were so cheap! Now this makes for a great thought and even a funny story, but in my head it illustrated how quite opposite My best friend and I were. I mean i guess I knew he had a different up bringing compared to me, but THIS simple memory was a mental illustration on how different it was. He is the baby in the family, I am the oldest, His family seemed pretty secure financially, Mine was broke as a joke, His family has a great reputation in the community, mine has a reputation alright..... his father served his time on his job and is now retired, my father just served Time...also No Joke. Pinto/Cadillac, he has brothers I have sisters,....His parents play poker for recreation, my parents used drugs for recreation , So, you say, what is the point to all of this?

Well i guess it just goes to show you that no matter where you come from or what you have or have not been exposed to, God puts people in each other's paths for a reason....Now even when we may not recognize the reason, it's still HIS call. I feel like I have been placed in My best friend's life to be a royal pain in the butt, and he would agree, but also I think it's because at the end of the day I make him think about somethings that otherwise would not ever question...i make him think about his faith and I think that's important! I also think that he makes me work on being a better person in the community.. Someone who can rise above the reputation that was handed down to me by my parents, someone who is different from everyone in my family. I know that My best friend will stand firm next to me in the front lines, and I have God to thank for making our paths cross.......that's it for now...until next time....

To be or not to be.....pregnant

So i just received some awesome news...a friend of mine is actually having a baby right NOW!! It's pretty awesome! But hearing that, brought some different thoughts to my mind, so again, I have decided to write them down. First of all, when a woman finds out she is pregnant, she tells her friends and family...now the manner in which she tells them depicts how excited or prepared she is for the event. You can say one of two things....." We're having a baby!" or "we're pregnant" Now to a man, these mean one in the same, but I am going to let you in on a secret...THEY SO AREN'T anywhere close to being the same!!! If a woman says she is having a baby its because she has been planning it and trying to create this little bundle.....if she says she is pregnant, well you can almost guarantee that it wasn't planned and she is scared out of her mind!

Then I started thinking about my girls, and how I never got to tell my friends that I was having a baby....ever. I was the one girl who wanted to have four children and wanted to have a big family, and I just didn't get to have that....like I have two amazing girls, whom I love to death! But man, it would have been cool to have more....and to get a little sentimental, or mushy or whatever, I really wanted to "have a baby" and appreciate EVERY moment of that pregnancy! Because I will tell you that if you aren't prepared, you don't appreciate the morning sickness, or the going pee every five seconds while the baby just shoves her foot into your lung! You don't appreciate the baby doing flip flops on top of your kidneys while you are trying to sleep, you don't appreciate the fact that you have always hated anchovies and now for some god forsaken reason that is all you want to eat! You just don't appreciate the little things..... You just don't. *sigh*

So here I sit feeling so excited for my friend, who got to tell her family that she was having a baby...but also feeling a little jealous and kind of like a kid who wasn't invited to the birthday party that everyone else in the class got to go to...a little left out....sigh. Oh well, I guess I can always look forward to grandkids, when my girls are like 40! ......that's it for now, until next time.......

the new car smell...

So it's official, I have spent 5 nights at my "new to me" place and the new car smell is beginning to wear off. Now don't get me wrong, I LOOOOOOOVE my place, but I am seeing a few things that may need to be "tweaked".

For example my only immediate neighbor has a son, and teenage son, who's bedroom is like on the other side of my living room.....well his room is soooooo not even close to being sound proof! Everyday for at least twenty minutes (minimum) I hear his "music" It's like eminem and snoop. Then, as if listening to lyrics about bitches and hoes isn't bad enough, I actually hear him try to sing along!!! Oh man, it's ALMOST entertainment, but sadly I hate the taste in music! *sigh*

Another thing that perplexes me is the complete lack of outlets. I think that each room (with the kitchen being the exception) has one outlet! Now these outlets are from ...hmm the mayflower I bet, because they don't have the three prong! I know, I Know, I am spoiled, but seriously in today's technology world it's almost necessary to have at least two outlets in each room and each outlet should be three prong! I have found the necessary adapters though. Oh and since the rooms have only one outlet I have resorted to extension cords, which I have to become more creative in hiding the eyesore neon orange cords that trickle throughout the house.....

So now I have to tweak the few problems that have arose. the son.......well there are a few options, I could talk reasonable to him and explain that his repertoire of music is less than delightful for his neighbor, in which case he will probably spat in my face and decide to swear and turn his music up higher...I could address the issue with the adult in the house, i.e. his mother, in which case she will probably blow cigarette smoke in my face, laugh and say to get a life...which from my knowledge she has no life except to sit home and smoke and not pay any care in the world as to what her son does.....or I could plan a sneak attack and sabotage his electrical outlets, I mean his room probably only has one as well, and I am guessing it's on the other side of the wall from mine....teehee bwahhahaha, ....or, as a last resort I could just learn to enjoy listening to the same bitches and hoes music and learn the words and sing them better and louder than the boy next door.......hmmmm interesting......

Next issue, the outlets, well I feel as though I have addressed the issue because I have adapters and extensions cords, which might not be the best solution because it may pose a fire hazard? Perhaps I should just call my landlord and have him add a few outlets to the existing ones.....maybe that's the best solution.

I should tell you that aside from slim shady living next door I doo really love being here! And it seems like my daughter does as well, so for now that's good enough for me.......until next time....

I think my purse has a hole......

Ok I know that everyone has issues, and that they always think that their issue is by far the worst one ever. I am not about to try to one up anyone, mostly because I just don't have the energy after a long day chasing pygmies (which is what I do), I am just going to point out a small fact about something to do with a day in the life of ...me. It seems like alot of people have the same struggle I do, too much month left at the end of my money. *sigh* It's just frustrating! I hate having to struggle, it makes me crazier than I already am! I think that I have everything budgeted out at the beginning of the month, all my bills, and generally no spending money after, you all know the routine. Well somehow....at the end of the month there are still bills that need to be paid and I am out of money! I think that my purse has a hole in the bottom! It's maddening! I have actually traded in purses because I was sure that this theory was real..and yet the problem remains unsolved! I guess the only solution is to put my money in one of those glad flex garbage bags, or in my case, a sandwich bag! At least those claim to be impenetrable! maybe then I would have something left at the end of the month.......or how about this, since I already suffer from " I am the Center of the universe syndrome", how about we just shorten the length of the months? Perhaps then i would at least come out even? No? I am not the center of the universe, and therefore that's not going to happen? *sigh* How about the back up plan, which every woman has, but none are willing to admit, .......marry rich, and I don't mean the guys who's name is Rich. Oh, that's right! My first marriage failed so I should just not even count on doing it over again,.....hmmm good call! ah oh well i shall just continue with this conundrum until I can jump ahead ....until next time.......

Fresh and New...well sorta

So I have made the decision to start a blog, only time will tell if it's really worth it or not, for any of us involved. At any rate I made this decision after a few very big life changing events have occurred. First I filed for the big "D", and second I have moved into a new place. So these two things have left me feeling overwhelmed and looking for some order in my life. Generally when I am overwhelmed I talk alot, but i don't want to ,then in turn, overwhelm anyone who crosses my path, so perhaps writing it down will help....Ha! That's where you got sucked into my whole plan.

Let us first discuss my decision to move into a new place....believe it or not the filing for "d" had little to do with this particular move. I have been separated from him for over a year and had been living in a brand new, and I mean never before lived in by anyone else new, apartment. It was great! Fully loaded! I mean it was new and had all of the awesomeness that comes with being new....only one problem, okay like a dozen problems. First of all if anything became "worn" or gently used after me being there, i was the one who would pay for it....BAH! Next was the fact that they were built soooooo cheap that when my upstairs neighbor was peeing in his bathroom it sounded like he was peeing in mine! No insulation for soundproofing. Which by the way also was less than great when my young lover neighbors decided to make their evenings full of "show me how you love me" marathons! Then there was the fact that my upstairs neighbor, along with half of the rest of the tenants, had dogs! Now ordinarily I am ok with dogs, except that most of these dog owners did not follow the rules! They just let their dogs go to the bathroom pretty much wherever and so I had to constantly be on the look out for the steaming bomb. Now where i am from it snows ALOT and generally the snow covers up these acts of irresponsibility, but now we have been warming up and the snow has melted leaving all of the wonderful little piles of dog DNA! Plus there was the simple fact that the rent was really high! So my decision to move was based on the fact that my lease was up and I needed more money in my pocket ( a cheaper place to rent) and more privacy.....perhaps my own house or in the very least only one neighbor. So I found a duplex which was built probably just after Noah and the flood, which means this baby is virtually soundproof, and it was a ton less per month. I decided it was time.....so I packed all of the crap that one accumulates over a year and have been moving for 3 days. See that's how you have to do it when you work 10 hour days and are moving all the crap by yourself! But on the upside I have moved about 90% of my stuff and fit it into a house about half the size...without too much trouble. Ok I will be honest it has been a royal pain in my butt...who the heck keeps all of this stuff anyway? I have throuwn out more stuff than I have moved and i still have alot of crap! I am thinking of it as the ultimate Spring cleaning adventure!

Now onto my second decision, filing for the big "D". I know, I know, I had been separated from him for over a year so really, what's the big deal? Well, here's the deal. Nobody enjoys admitting they are a failure at anything, unless they suffer from craziness or even depression perhaps. Now being separated for a year was like no big deal, really. But when i had to walk into the local courthouse (which by the way I knew over half of the people in there, not including any inmates HA) and place the papers on the counter, you know the ones that state in black and white, that I suck and I failed at my marriage, I felt overwhelmed! Forget all of society saying that everyone is divorced, or a vast majority are, forget the statistics about today's divorce rate, this wasn't about everyone else and their issues. This was about the fact that whether or not he was faithful or loving, or whatever his short comings were, I sucked at holding it together! Now I am not one of those people who blames the other one for all of the problems, because Lord know I have plenty of my short comings and iniquities, which also contributed to this colossal failure. The fact that I couldn't keep it together for sake of the kids, or that fact that I do in fact feel like the whole thing was my fault, is pretty much crazy, and I KNOW THAT, but still......he wasn't the one who had to go into the courthouse and lay the black and white evidence on the counter stating that he sucked! Nope if I had left that one duty to him I would still be waiting......so I swallowed my pride ( for like 15 minutes) and admitted failure.

Now I am in the beginning proceedings of the big "D" and I have more papers to trudge through. I guess this is another one of those things where only time will tell......

In the meantime, I am going to blog about my days as a hard working ( which can be a whole other blog) single mom who needs to blow off some steam some days.....until next time.....