Time marches on....

Today i am home,which is kinda out of the ordinary for me, since it is a weekday and I generally play with the pygmies, but I am taking a personal day. I left the third session of camp a day early to come home. I really missed my best friend, and I had to prep for my big weekend, but mostly my big day. I am sooooo very nervous right now, I am almost shaking out of my skin....tomorrow i sit in front of the family court commissioner and finalize my divorce, you know the thing that was a catalyst of sorts to me blogging........

Now on one hand I should be overjoyed with the fact that I can move onto a new chapter in my life, but it doesn't help with the anxiety of the whole matter........I am scared out of my pants! I have to sit on a court room and face my ex, with a court commissioner asking us questions, all the while crossing my fingers that my ex doesn't speak up and contest anything that we have thus far agreed upon. If that happens I could be delayed a 6-8 more weeks! COME ON ALREADY! I need this to be done so I can move forward!

I won't lie I am also kinda grieving, I mean it is a loss, a huge chunk of my life, no less. But if I look at it from the stand point that I have like 90 more years to go...alright not quite that much, but alot none the less, then it is only a fraction of my life as a whole, which also means that i have a great deal of time to move forward.

I just need to suck it up and put on my big girl panties, and march through my day, putting one foot in front of the other.......I mean really if I think about it this whole thing at the court house is ONLY going to take 30 minutes, and here I am spending HOURS worrying and having anxiety about the whole matter....SIGH! So really, really, I just need to step back and look at the whole picture, you know the WHOLE, 90 year, picture.....Stuff happens, and I just gotta roll with it......cause Time marches on......until next time.................