So many things happen over the course of time, I often am thinking of what I could write again, but then Life takes over and here I sit with 13 drafts that will probably never be published. .. well until today HA! Over the course of this past year I have grown into a whole different person. I have changed physically and mentally. I underwent gastric bypass (which has an unpublished entry in this log) and lost 105 pounds--- I lost a person who weighs the same as my youngest sister---maybe we will find that person's picture on a milk carton...speaking of which, do they even do that anymore? I have also developed an amazing level of confidence-- this probably stems from my weight loss...but hey, whatever- I still have it, and frankly I fucking love it. I have had 2 of my children move out into the adult world, since the last time we talked... and with that I decided to bring in 3 more Littles--- ages 10, 3, and 2 years old. What was I thinking? I have no way to describe it other than I needed to stand in the gap for these kids, because nobody else was. They come from a broken, addictive home, and needed some serious love and guidance. So here I start all over with potty training (something I haven't done in 14 years...) Here I start with teaching them to say please and thank you, use a fork, pick up after they are done playing, be nice to the furkids etc. I have started over. My oldest daughter is having a baby-- which means I will be raising Littles while I am also a Grandma (or Noninna--small grandma in Italian) I have discovered that my best friend and partner in crime has wandering eyes-- which is never a good thing. Unfortunately my discovery blind sided me to the point of no return.. Trust has been shattered and I don't think I can recover-- so here I sit married to a man I cannot trust, but cannot leave, since my Littles can only be in a 2 parent home--- great right.....? not exactly my thoughts of a dream life--- but like Grandfather always said--- you gotta take the bad with the good--- so there's that