Public service announcement...

As I scroll through ANY social media, I am inundated with posts about Human trafficking... women who have experienced a threat while shopping, pleas from relatives who's child has gone missing and a fear of human trafficking comes to the front of their mind, stories of huge human trafficking busts all over the nation. What the hell is wrong with people?! I just read a post that was an open "note" to these Human traffickers, and I have decided to draft my own.... Dear Human Traffickers You are getting far too close to my home and I am certain you have social media, so I am giving you a heads up--- a public service announcement of sorts, so pay close attention, because I am only going to give you sick sons of bitches a single warning--- I am not one of those women who will find a security guard to walk me to my car if I suspect something is wrong, I will not skirt behind counters and isles trying to "lose" you in a store, I will not post a long warning on social media, warning others about you.... I have no problem defending myself physically, making a scene, or going after anyone who dares to come after me or my children. I will not cower in hopes that you lose interest in trying to grab me, I will video your sorry ass while I draw my .380 that I carry all of the time. I will chase down your vehicle while photographing your plates and your faces if I must--- THEN i will take it to the authorities and to social media. You will have your 15 minutes of fame, and then your time in prison ( and I have heard that the inmates LOVE people like you) My family is not your prey--YOU ARE MINE. The best protection any woman can have is courage, and frankly I have buckets full.... "go ahead, make my day" Regards, The crazy lady packing heat

Behold the power of Face Book....

I would like to think that people have SOMETHING better to do with their lives ... but I would be mistaken. Unfortunately, people have NOTHING better to do than to keep sticking their noses into other people's business. Honestly, have you no job? no spouse to tend to? no children? no hobbies? What on earth?! I have tested this theory time and time again, and I have yet to be proven wrong. My latest little test nugget was a simply photo posted to Facebook with an ambiguous description.... I left the interpretation of said photo and caption up to the individual scrolling through their news feed--- knowing WHAT conclusion COULD be found. Over 75 likes, and COUNTLESS comments--followed up by personal messages and texts( all of which were great)...but wait, there's more--- some people took the liberty to contact my dear ex husband, who is still my friend, and ask him what was going on--- like he EVER knew what was going on in my head-- come on people, you know better. (not one of THOSE people contacted me) He was contacted SO many times that it warranted a blog i guess. Why can't you just ask the source? why can't you comment on MY post? Why ask EVERYONE else what's going on? JUST ASK ME... I will straight shoot you, if NOTHING else, you have learned over the years, it's that I am a straight shooter--it's a flaw of sorts. At any rate, not that it's REALLY any of your nosy business, I am in a TOTAL committed relationship- He's IT, if he shit cans me, then I am turning lesbian, true story. He feels the same about me (ask him yourself) As i have said before, it is not about the wedding, but the marriage. And marriage is the absolute commitment between two people, with the intent of NEVER parting ways. It's someone you can stand next to in battle and dig your heels in when the going gets tough (and it will) It's laughing at all of your silly shit together. It's looking at one another without saying a word and KNOWING, without a doubt, that THIS is where you're supposed to be. It's posting stupid shit on Facebook and riding out the comments and posts. It's late night shenanigans in Walmart. It's building a deck together, and not killing one another. It's allowing one another to be THEMSELVES. It's the good AND the bad. A marriage is NOT something you need to explain ( although it appears I have...) It's not something that needs a huge pomp and circumstance. It's really NONE of anyone else's business. It's just two people...period. So THAT all being said-- i guess I will still post random nuggets for all of you busy bodies (since I wouldn't want you to get bored with your lives) and I will ride out the comments, and see what comes next...I know one thing is for sure-- I am happy with where I am in my life and who I am with, I am sorry your life is less than wonderful...maybe if you jumped off social media for a moment, you might find some purpose in your life, or maybe not...who knows. Until next time......

There's a first---- day of school

first day of school---- it doesn't mean as much for me now days as it has in the past--- Another season in my life, I guess.... I do still have one child in school--- but truth be told-- she's a sophomore and she isn't annoying during the summer, so her going back to school isn't a big deal for me anymore--- that , and well.... the fact that I have put SOOOOO many kids on a bus for their first time ever that I am immune to tears (forget the fact that I never cry LOL) At any rate, I have been reflecting slightly on today for other moms.... and you will have guessed, I have some unsolicited advice for them... First, at risk of sounding TOTALLY cliche'.... Do NOT take this time for granted--- it passes far quicker than you will ever know. Photograph EVERYTHING!Their first day of school, the first team sporting event and all that follow, the funny shit that happens throughout the year--- get pictures of it ALL---- because soon, that's all you will have, and you'll regret not capturing it. Make them cold lunch once in awhile ( or all the time if you're me) and leave them stupid Mom notes in lunch---while they might roll their eyes now, they will miss that shit when they no longer get it. BE INVOLVED! i mean it... be so far up their asses that they have no idea where they end and you begin--- get to know their friends, get to know their enemies, and be there! follow their social media shit and creepily follow their friends... its ok. KNOW THIS-- those stupid idiots POST EVERYTHING!!!! Follow it, but DO NOT blow up petty shit you see..... just bide your time and ONLY use the blow up method when needed--- trust me on this. Also, take time for YOU! Seriously though, get to that Mom's and Mimosa's, go workout, go get coffee with a girlfriend or by yourself... you need this recharge! Make homemade dinner as often as you can--- this will be something you miss when you no longer have to do it--- except holidays ( and THEN you cook the SHIT out of ANYTHING those kids want!!!) Be ok with the teenagers in your life telling you that you are ruining their life--- you are NOT their friend-- they have enough of those-- you are their parent, and you need to behave as such---- if they hurt your feeling while they are ranting...pull yourself together and deal with it--- you can cry later in your privacy Understand that they WILL lie to you--- choose your battles--- don't freak out about EVERY little thing--- lose your shit on MAJOR things, it makes more of an impact--- and they often times, fear for their lives....which is helpful LOL MOst of all--- just do what you're already doing--- kids are pretty resilient and we cant screw them up TOO much--- and if we do manage to totally mess their little scrambled egg brains, there is always therapy-- which we pay for anyhow--- so there's that. :) Rest easy my parent friends... we got this! Until next time....

Period!

Here's the thing, I'm tired of justifying myself to all of the small town gossip whores, so I'll just get ya all covered at once. Yes, my second marriage has come to an end, yes I have essentially moved , yes, I have a new guy in my life, yes my husband knows about him, no we don't feel bad about it, yes we all hang out together and are adults about the matter, no it isn't weird for us, no we don't need to know what you think about it,

Holding on...by a thread

Another one written in 2017... why does everything have to be so damn complicated? I am trying to do whats right and it's like walking a tight rope--- I can't balance everything and still do the absolute right thing....today is court day for the Littles--- I have had them for a year--- it's been one hell of a year too! They have come such a long way--but have they really? Our system is broken--the department is always citing "reunification" for everything-- I feel like the only thing they have managed to really do is eff these kids up even more, and make excuses for the shitty parents they have. The damn kids didn't ask to be born into this shit storm they have become part of--- they didn't ask for parents who are addicts...and they certainly didn't ask for foster parents--because really? who does that? So i try and stand in the gap-- i have put in EVERYTHING i have in my being for this cause for the past year-- let me tell you the 'collateral damage" it has left in its wake. My youngest daughter is moving out, since she is super stressed about the whole situation at home, because I have to voice my discontent when the Littles aren't around -- and I am dissatisfied with the system--unfortunately the daughter hears the vent sessions and concludes that Momma is stressed (she'd be right)She is also one of the people who has to deal with the ripple effect after the Littles visit with their mom, and how we as a family have to deal with all of that! What A MESS My marriage (what's left of it) has been exposed, and the weaknesses have overtaken everything else-- Is this a result of stress? of having a ton of Littles now home? Who knows-- fact is...it has happened and I am not sure if i can weather it. My family gatherings are fewer due to the wild crazy bunch of pygmies I now call mine-- My family supports me, but I cant say that i blame them when they steer clear of events that my wild crew is part of. Sitters--yep, can't get em--again because of the crazy crew i have-- they devour sitters job--HA, I just got done telling you I can't get a sitter, I also can't take the Littles to daycare since they have been kicked out of the facilities here in town due to their barbaric behavior-- and sure, when they first came a year ago, I could see that...but it's different...slightly ... so job, um no, i have no job---which adds to the everyday stress since I don't bring in any money into my home anymore. awesome Now, what about the Littles-- well like I said earlier, they have come a long way--i mean they can speak and one of them is even potty trained...but every time I make a few steps forward they spend time with their mom and I'm thrown back 40 steps-- I cant continue this yo-yo effect-- I used to think I could make a difference, but honestly I think that's a fricken joke--- I have made sacrificing for children that aren't even mine-- sacrifices of MY little family-- of myself- Can i be selfish and just stomp my foot up and down? Can I have some ME time, some ME stuff? When do i get to work 2 jobs? When do I get to not have all of these responsibilities? Oh that's right, I signed up for this-- I am the one who volunteered to stand in the gap-- I know-- but then, let me HAVE the children as my own...let me decide what the hell to do for them? Let me decide who sees them and when.... oh? no? that's not part of the foster gig? well, then, if you think that mom is so fantastic, it's been a year--let her have them back! Spare me whatever excuses that will fall out of your stupid mouth, shit or get off the proverbial pot! I am tired of being in a holding pattern for my life--- I have had it.

Dream on!

This post was actually written in Early 2017, but I figured I'd include it anyhow.... fuck this! I am tired... not only physically exhausted but fucking tired. I am beyond tired actually--- I am tired of the loss of trust, the loss of love, the loss of my whole "second damn life" I thought I had it all--- love, financial stability, amazing partner in life-- only to realize months ago that I was seriously delusional. I can't even begin to tell everyone how much of a fucking joke this damn "dream " was. Not only did my life partner and best friend betray me.. he did it so many times I can't even keep track--- all the while essentially excusing his behavior for something else?~?!?!? What the actual fuck dude? My finances are in just as much of a disarray as my marriage-- i thought our shit was paid-- only to find out....nope.. that is a whole other entry--- not one for my brain this evening O have made a great friend since this whole shit happened-- unfortunately for me, He lives in Turkey-- as in the country not the poultry-- and he has returned home.. UGH! what a a crock! I miss him soo much! We had so many evenings of shenanigans and I loved every second of being with him--- mostly because he was honest-- but also because he gave me a new fresh perspective on life. Truth.. you want truth right now, why the hell not... I want out. I want out of this misery..but I am stuck like gum to the bottom of a desk from last September.. i am stuck. I cant leave because I am not giving up on the Littles because my best friend/partner fucked up and decided he wasn't in this for the long haul.. Why should THEY suffer... isn't it enough that I do ( spoken like a true Martyr) Sigh. I digress... i am just at a loss today folks... I am ... normally I try and be more positive than this, but alas, I cannot at this point..l might have something to do wit the whiskey or not.... one cant really tell i guess-- especially since this is a blog and my tone and animated gestures are lacking... or are they? another time perhaps.

You look like you swallowed a baseball....

So, i had a tooth extracted the other day--- it wasn't REALLY a whole tooth, actually- it was half a tooth, since the damn thing cracked. At any rate, had it removed--since it was causing some ridiculous pain and honestly, there's nothing worse than mouth pain. Anyhow, removed--evicted it, I did.... then I went off to work. Because why not. Felt fine that night, even felt fine the following day--- THEN...it happened. My face was a little swollen and it was sore--- I just figured that it due in large part to the fact that the poor dentist had to jump on my chair and use it as leverage to get the damn tooth out--thus making my jaw a little more sore than needed. Whatever--took some serious Advil and went to sleep--- only to wake up the next day to a swollen shut eye, huge fat lip, and a cheek that looked like i stuffed a baseball inside my mouth--- Had I gotten into a boxing match with the famous Rocky Balboa? Had i participated in a fight club we don't dare talk about? What on earth happened! oh and the PAIN--- the amount of pain---- what the hell? I scheduled a visit with my Dr. and she looked and examined--- turns out that I had what they call a dry socket-- WHAT?! How on earth? Sigh-- ok, so now how do we fix it? cause DAMN. Antibiotics and a minor pain reliever ... needless to say I was laid up in bed with a face that looks like something out of a science fiction movie and can't eat anything--since my mouth wont really open--- so I did what anyone in my situation would do... I drank a few shots of whiskey--to numb the pain. It worked--sort of..... Fast forward to today-- and I woke up to the same hideous face I saw yesterday--- ugh. Day two of the hostage situation... maybe tomorrow my face will decrease in size and I will be able to actually eat some substance...until then I will just sulk around the house, since going out in public like this is not even kinda an option....